Obsessive Emotions
"It was then that I realized that, no matter how much I tried dig out these weeds, and twine my fingers between these precious people's hands, I could never take care of them all. With only my small heart, an insignificant star in the sky, I could only guide so many people at once - and what was it to them? I could dissapear for days and they'd forget me, maybe they'd cry somewhere inside, but not for me in particular. Maybe they'd hate me for being their star, or for having the "privilege" of being one. But I never thought of it as a privilege, more like a choice. And maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to think, that I'm the one that needs them more - maybe, I need to be needed. Maybe we're all stars glittering in the sky, wanting to be noticed by someone else, wanting to be loved and cherrished."
"That's all I can say, to define what's in my heart. Pain is something you live with daily, even if you're happy, because no matter what you're reminded of it constantly. When filth and garbage, poverty and decay no longer disturbs you, then you definitly know there is far too much pain in this world. We make our own worlds, closed off from the rest of the world, limited to only a few people, to only a few perspectives...and then the world begins to blurr around the edges - you're beginning to see through rose-coloured glasses."
ahh i'm all done out. the "fluttering in my heart" is gone. i like emotions...i love to write them, i love to read them - i love how they feel! especially the powerful ones - especially the ones that are torn from the insides of someone's heart~ i wonder why?
itz powerful. that's all i can rlly say.
just to let u kno those "-" were not me in particular..jsut words, thoughts, feelings~ that arent necessarily wat i feel - or are they?
they're just there. read them...if u want, but dont worry about me, im not said =) im just saying stuff.
3 Comments:
I liked the passage and u wrote it right? Wow...so powerful. You can really grab the perception...ure getting so good.!!
Sometimes I think about how some ppl need no one but u know...like u said everyone is a star, humans cannot be alone, everyone is always searching for someone, for a companion.
Ah...losing my train of thought.
i hope u feeling cool tho...then i think i would worry more if u didnt feel upset about things. I always want my friends to be happy..but that's just insane. Its like..pressuring u guys...so if u feel upset or depressed or watev...u know what? that's ok. That's cool. I'm relieved ure upset b/c that means ure normal just live everyone else...or abnormal...u get my drift?...yikes...
just feel how u wanna feel with justifcation. No need to burn a building house for the hell of it...heh.
take care
-jade
11:52 pm
lol thanks, i considered that more of a writing exercise then ne thing else, =D thanks for saying im getting better
i kno wat u mean about wishing ur friends are always happy...but it cant be like that al the time. i completely get u =D and im actually doing alot better then i was b4 (about those things i was telling u) so itz all good now...just this horrible weather! i wish the sun would shine.
lol
ahh so i bet ur sleeping on ur day off :P
10:24 am
haha...yea....i got up at 1pm but my internal clock woke up at 7:09am.
3:43 pm
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